Well-Being

I am at the oncologist's office getting treatment 9 out of 12. It is good to feel like the number of treatments left is down to "a few." Of course I'm also feeling well today. Last night I had some anticipatory queasiness but this morning has been better.

The lady sitting next to me is talking about the frustration of hairlessness. She has no hair in her nose - a condition I do not have in quite her extreme - and said it makes her nose run faster. I guess nose hair slows down the flow and makes it a little easier to be neat.

In the throes of last week's fatigue and frustration I thought that being in round 9 of chemo might be like the 9th hour of labor. (I write this based purely on observation and anecdote, with no relevant personal experience). It's like going into labor knowing it will last 12 hours and that in the end there will be no baby, no tangible reward for the effort. My important people are here to support me, but they also leave the room periodically to go for a walk or have something to eat. Around now they start to say, "Just a few hours to go! You're going to make it!" It's true, of course, but I still want to be done NOW. I'm tired NOW. I want to go for a walk and get something to eat, too.

I'm reading the December Atlantic almost cover-to-cover today (Sandra Tsing Loh made me laugh out loud AND made me think kindly of Dave Ramsey, who I usually find deeply irritating) and happened on this lovely thought in the letters to the editor: "Well-being is not the absence of disease or disorder; it is living life with purpose and meaning, in a caring community."