It's a lot to schedule in December and January, but absolutely worth it. It's good to affirm our connections with all of these people who are the permanent emotional resources in our lives. It's fun to see how the boys are starting to sort out the different relationships they have on each branch of our family. Ben's family and my family are grandparents, cousins, aunts & uncles in the intimate, we-depend-on-you way that many families have. We see each other often, the kids visit grandparents with and without Ben and me.
All three of them also love and feel connected to all three birthfamilies. They are still getting the hang of knowing which birthmom belongs to whom, but they know that they each have a birthfamily that is "theirs." Any visit with any birthfamily elicits cheers and happy anticipation from all three. They've also come to understand that one of them is the "special" boy to each birthfamily.
For example, this weekend we were back in Manitowoc to visit with Sam's birthfamily, see some friends, and visit our old congregation there. After the service we stayed for a soup lunch. Owen sat with his birthgrandparents and seemed absolutely content to be with them. Sam and Jude sat with me and our other friends, and seemed absolutely content to be with us.
I am so thankful that we get to stay in touch with and visit all three of their birthfamilies. I suspect the warmth and openness we share with each family makes it easier for the boys to feel at ease with all of them. Surely things will become more complicated as they get older and their understanding of families changes, but in any circumstance I am thankful for lots and lots of love in our lives.
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